海角乱伦

聽 聽 I am no angel by any means, but I am a good guy. I worked my entire life away and am now 71 years of age. I have been divorced decades ago, with two grown children that are not a factor. I met my wife working at a department store here in the USA. She was very nice and we started dating shortly afterwards. She told me that her husband told her to go date somebody else and that she felt that she was treated as the maid by her husband and two sons. I believed her and took her at her word. She had no real recourse for her predicament. She was working two jobs and taking care of the house.She asked for help, and I helped as needed. She eventually divorced and after realizing that she had nothing and that I loved her, I married her. I immediately had her quit one job and sent her to school to get a medical license that would allow her to be more needed in the job world. The years rolled by with a speed bump here and there and then Covid 19, and they wanted her to get vaccinated to keep her job. Nope, not happening. I got Covid 19, and it set me back on my heels, but I live! Slowly but surely she stopped doing things for me. She does not do my minimal laundry, I do it. I even have my own separate clothes hamper in the garage. She is one heck of a gardener and she really keeps a clean house. I got prostate cancer and let's just say there is not the same intimacy. In fact it is long periods of time that she will even put her hands on me. I caught her shipping off money that I put in her account to pay bills so she would feel part of the team, but without telling me she sent the money to the PI to construct a house for her family. Then She took a couple of grand and gave it to her female buddy so her buddy could invest in BitCoin. Last night she announced she will no longer cook for me, because she does'nt. She cook all of her native dishes one after another and frankly I like American Food. Imagine that. So she come completely unhinged now at everything from being asked to cook me a meal that I like to when I cut a leaf on a plant wrong. I own this house and have it in a revocable trust. I am very hurt right now and too old to recover from all of this drama. Thoughts?聽 聽 聽 聽 聽-@mrlugubrious

The way I see this that your first priority to find the type of divorce that suits you best (you can skip wasting time on deciding whether to get divorced). Now, she is working, you have no kids all of which should save you alimony and of course no child support. If your state has no-fault divorce that would be best. I think you know this can only get worse, don't bother with counseling as she is too selfish for that to work. Looks like she can't get the house and that is great news. So you know what you need to do. It may be a good opportunity to change your life. Consider retiring in the Philippines after you dump her.

I agree with Dan 馃憜馃徏

I think the advise given is sound although could there be problems ahead.

The O/P鈥檚 opening sentence about being no Angel rings alarm bells for me.

@Cherryann01

True... One side if the story.聽 Hard to give real sound advice without knowing the whole story... Kinda like the news the last few years... Propoganda trying to get you to think in one direction...

@Cherryann01

"I am no angel" is called honesty. I can be loud and obnoxious at times but what else is new. Fact, I do not cheat. Fact, I pay all the bills. Fact I have been sending unknown amounts of money to her family through her for 12 years. Fact, I went to work everyday at 0400 for 27 years to earn the pension we now BOTH live on. Fact: I took out a loan for a house at the apex of the bubble, before I met her and did not do anything slimy. I made a deal (not a good deal) but I did it, and I stuck with that deal until I聽 paid off my house loan.

So think what you will, but I am a solid hardworking man regardless of what I feel you wish to intimate.

When I was at Yankee Station during the Viet Nam era we pulled liberty in the PI.I always had a special place in my heart for the people of the PI, and that shall not change.

HC-1 Det 6, CVA 43

Sure it's my side alright, what did you expect for me to have her write her counterpoint?

@Wellsfry

You got that right about the news alright. I am not allowed to express my opinion of the take over of the USA in this household without getting the shut up and "what me worry" treatment.

Somebody has to pay attention, and that would be me. It is a very twisted web they weave when to decide to deceive..

You got the obnoxious part right. Refused vaccine to keep medical job? That her idea or yours? Sounds like you got deceived. You have a right to express your opinion, but I'm not hearing it

she felt that she was treated as the maid by her husband and two sons.I immediately had her quit one job and sent her to school to get a medical license that would allow her to be more needed in the job world. They wanted her to get vaccinated to keep her job. Nope, not happening. I got Covid 19, and it set me back on my heels, but I live! Slowly but surely she stopped doing things for me. She does not do my minimal laundry, I do it.聽 Last night she announced she will no longer cook for me. She cook all of her native dishes one after anotherand frankly I like American Food. So she come completely unhinged from being asked to cook me a meal that I like.聽
Thoughts? -@mrlugubrious

Mr. Lugubrious,

I'm sorry about your situation. People change. Some for the better. Others for the worse. The reasons might be different, but you both have gone through previous divorces. Looks like you're about to go through another. I agree with the previous posts and hope you get a separate bank account so she doesn't wipe you out completely.

It was very nice of you to pay for her medical schooling. But not so nice to cause her to lose her job. Was she able to find a medical job that doesn't require vaccinations? I'd be surprised. It's great that you survived covid-19. Many people weren't so lucky. The medical personnel see it first hand and on a daily basis. I could be wrong but I'm just guessing that you don't. I'm sure the doctors and nurses that treated you were fully vaccinated. If only you had asked for the unvaccinated ones, you might not have been here to read these posts.

You mentioned that she felt her previous husband treated her like a maid. Maybe she's now seeing that same pattern all over again. She is Filipina. Of course, she'll cook what she knows how to cook. You can either just enjoy the rice or cook some American food for her. I know they say when in Rome, do as the Romans do... But I can't imagine non-Romans doing it better than the actual Romans.

Best of luck to you!

CJ

In the Philippines it is all about the money. Stop to give her any money.

One side of the story!聽 聽Personally I hate to see most relationships end.聽 聽If you asked me for advice I would suggest bouncing marriage counseling聽 off her and see what happens.聽 聽Things happen, people change most deserve at least a chance.聽

I'm no angle either, my wife of 17 years is a real honest to goodness one!!聽

@John dough

聽 If you asked me for advice I would suggest bouncing marriage counseling聽 off her and see what happens.

How does the marriage counselling therapist address the issue of the OP not being able to get a hard on?

@Lotus Eater

Harsh... Married for better and worse... There are other ways to fulfill that area... Hopefully counseling can help both to understand.聽 I am sure this issue is only a small part of the whole equation.

聽 聽 I am no angel by any means, but I am a good guy. I worked my entire life away and am now 71 years of age. I have been divorced decades ago, with two grown children that are not a factor. I met my wife working at a department store here in the USA. She was very nice and we started dating shortly afterwards. She told me that her husband told her to go date somebody else and that she felt that she was treated as the maid by her husband and two sons. I believed her and took her at her word. She had no real recourse for her predicament. She was working two jobs and taking care of the house.She asked for help, and I helped as needed. She eventually divorced and after realizing that she had nothing and that I loved her, I married her. I immediately had her quit one job and sent her to school to get a medical license that would allow her to be more needed in the job world. The years rolled by with a speed bump here and there and then Covid 19, and they wanted her to get vaccinated to keep her job. Nope, not happening. I got Covid 19, and it set me back on my heels, but I live! Slowly but surely she stopped doing things for me. She does not do my minimal laundry, I do it. I even have my own separate clothes hamper in the garage. She is one heck of a gardener and she really keeps a clean house. I got prostate cancer and let's just say there is not the same intimacy. In fact it is long periods of time that she will even put her hands on me. I caught her shipping off money that I put in her account to pay bills so she would feel part of the team, but without telling me she sent the money to the PI to construct a house for her family.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Then She took a couple of grand and gave it to her female buddy so her buddy could invest in BitCoin. "

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Last night she announced she will no longer cook for me, because she does'nt. She cook all of her native dishes one after another and frankly I like American Food. Imagine that. So she come completely unhinged now at everything from being asked to cook me a meal that I like to when I cut a leaf on a plant wrong. I own this house and have it in a revocable trust. I am very hurt right now and too old to recover from all of this drama. Thoughts?聽 聽 聽 聽 聽-@mrlugubrious

I think the Buddy has replaced you, the reasons why?聽 聽Only you and your wife know why. Your marriage is broken. . . .

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the King's Horses and all the Kings Men

Couldn't put Humpty together again

@cjm_mgc

Nobody told her to quit her job. Nobody. That is all her 100%. I did not get vaccinated either. For those of you that think ill of me, I am sorry and I excuse your ignorance. Better study up or go get some more boosters.

聽 聽 @cjm_mgc
Nobody told her to quit her job. Nobody. That is all her 100%. I did not get vaccinated either. For those of you that think ill of me, I am sorry and I excuse your ignorance. Better study up or go get some more boosters.
聽 聽

聽 聽 -@mrlugubrious

Ignorance is or can be bliss and is a double edged sword.

Covid aside? Move on, get your ducks in a row.

Cheers, Steve.

mrlugbrious said. . . . For those of you that think ill of me, I am sorry and I excuse your ignorance. Better study up or go get some more boosters.

***

Excuse our ignorance? Look in the mirror.

.

Look at your picture, I see rage.聽 聽 聽 聽

聽 聽 聽 聽 So she refused the free vaccine and lost her job.聽 Who can argue with that?

So neither got vaccinated, obviously meant for each other.

@mugteck

Stupid is as stupid does but hey OMO.

We had our shots and boosters immediately but Bens Barangay/family they all listened to the sprouted crap and refused even with bens sister and niece who are both nurses advised get your shots, Nada. Bens mother spent 5/6 weeks in hospital and his father near 3 weeks, Mum passed away, the rock of the community and sorely missed, all in the Barangay went and had their shots on her passing, all alive, one neighbour that refused also died. Bens bill? 1.5M pesos now he is broke.

Cheers, Steve.

Hello everyone,

I think that the OP's personal issue has already been addressed by some members. Now It is just drifting away on vaccines.

I am closing this thread.

On a side note, I would like to remind everyone that we are a public forum.

Regards

Bhavna

[Topic Closed]