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Tôm Càng

Hi asian dwellers,

This one is for you. According to you, what could be the 30th reference (and the subsequent ones, if you feel inspired)?

Tôm Càng

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN ASIA TOO LONG WHEN

1. The footprints on the toilet seat are your own.
2. You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue.
3. You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day.
4. You habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift.
5. It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody can get off.
6. You're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home.
7. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.
8. You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "up to you mister".
9. You no longer wonder how someone making US$200 per month can drive a Mercedes.
10. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue.
11. You have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family car.
12. You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it fixed.
13. You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while  the plane is still on final approach.
14. You think the Proton and Kijang are stylish and well built cars.
15. You walk to the pub with your arm around your mate.
16. You answer the telephone with "Hello" more than 2 times.
17. Your are quite content to repeat your order six times in a restaurant  that only has four items on the menu.
18. A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine.
19. You believe everything you read in the local  newspaper.
20. You regard traffic signals, stop signs and copy watch peddlers with total ignorance.
21. If when listening to the pilot prove he can't speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the Air Traffic Controllers.
22. You regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
23. You're not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
24. You think it is normal to wait six days to get your laundry back or pay 50% surcharge for same day service.
25. Taxi drivers understand you.
26. You own a rice cooker.
27. Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return to the western world.
28. You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on  your pants.
29. YOU UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE ABOVE REFERENCES!

See also

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Guesposter58

Lets see how many apply to Japan

Tôm Càng wrote:

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN ASIA TOO LONG WHEN

3. You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day.

7. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.
(Ohhh yes, this is a typical bloody meeting here!!! :mad::D)

8. You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "up to you mister".

10. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue.

11. You have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family car.

13. You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while  the plane is still on final approach.
(I've not gone Asian yet here! In fact, it annoys me immensely. To be fair, compared to some of the other Asian countries, the Japanese only do this when the plane is taxi-ing after landing)

16. You answer the telephone with "Hello" more than 2 times.
(Moshi moshi. Ummm, I suppose thats the same :) )

20. You regard traffic signals, stop signs and copy watch peddlers with total ignorance.
(In Japan. Green means "Go". Mind you, they call the Green Light "Blue"!!!! Amber/Orange means "go faster, it's about to change red". Red means "we can still squeeze another 3 cars through the junction!")

21. If when listening to the pilot prove he can't speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the Air Traffic Controllers.
(This scares the hell out of me. It was reported a couple of months that ANA pilots would start taking English lessons. Hold on a second! Isn't English meant to be the only language you use when speaking to ATC)

23. You're not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
(We have two or so guys, with mini light-saber batons showing you where to walk, should you want to accidently walk into the building site next to the pavement (despite the fact that the building site is completely blocked off).

26. You own a rice cooker.
(Naturally :) )
27. Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return to the western world.
28. You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on  your pants.
29. YOU UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE ABOVE REFERENCES!


A couple of Japan specific ones (could extend to other parts of asia?)
J1. You 'bow to people' when saying thank you.... even though they are on the other end of the phone line.
J2. You bow to the ATMs when they give you money.
J3. You perfect the art of sleeping on a subway train, while standing up.

ladyjane

LOVE the bowing when on the phone! Love it. When I visited home in the summer I did a full from-the-waist bow at a car that slowed down so we could finish crossing the street and didn't even notice! My mom started laughing and had to point out to me what I'd done! Ohhhhh the bowing.

Tôm Càng

The bowing doesn't apply much in Vietnam. Instead we have the 'never ending handshake' with both hands. 5 minutes minimum. Very important, since you're not supposed to shake hands again. Once it's done, it's done.

In official diners, expect your table neighbors to stroke your available leg while you wonder what is the meaning of such a friendly gesture...

You stop saying 'thank you', 'sorry' and 'please'.

With so many ways to say 'I', your identity becomes a blurry concept.

You only realize that you're picking your nose because of the horrified look people give you.

You drink red wine with ice, in a beer glass while shouting "môt! hai! ba! vô!" (1, 2, 3, down it goes).

You promise you'll be somewhere you have no intention to be.

During meeting and training, you can actually sleep with your eyes wide-open.

You think it's perfectly normal to call people at 6 A.M.

When you answer the phone, panicked silence is usually followed by the sound of the hanged-up phone.

snu2000

guys,

i read your posts and i absolutely wanted to share with you my feelings. some of the points raised by tom are so true for me! i have lived in mainland china for 3 years and now i am in hong kong since 2004.
things i agree with tom:

1. The footprints on the toilet seat are your own. (the floor is so sticky! =) they never use bleach)
2. You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue. (sometimes i really do that!)
3. You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day. (or you stop in the middle of the escalator and dont bother about people behind you who are in a hurry and must wait behind you)

5. It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody can get off. (this one is a killer, especially true in HK where so many ppl take the subway, i really cant understand that attitude. similarly yesterday i was quite pissed off because everybody was packed at the entrance of the trains instead of getting in the aisles)

7. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.

9. You no longer wonder how someone making US$200 per month can drive a Mercedes. (ha ha, i am really astonished to see people choosing cars or brands over such common sense things as buying a house or going on holidays)
10. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue. (especially true when you want to eat dim sum on the week end)

13. You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while  the plane is still on final approach.

15. You walk to the pub with your arm around your mate.

18. A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine. (seriously being french born chinese, i have always liked eating meat together with rice, in fact everything with rice)
19. You believe everything you read in the local  newspaper. (well i think the scmp is quite a good paper)

23. You're not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.

26. You own a rice cooker.
27. Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return to the western world.
28. You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on  your pants.

what i can add:
you dont say hello and thank you to the taxi driver or shop assistant.
you dont hold the doors open for people behind you, or better you try to get inside the room without having to touch the door.
you find it normal to live in a shoebox size appartment because the building is new and facilities that you only use once a year (because they are crowded eg the swimming pool) are great.
it is ok for you to see in the trains old people having to stand up because teenagers have taken all the seats and wont have the idea to give theirs.
it has become an habit for you to wash your dish with the glass of tea before you can eat.
you find everything horribly expensive when you go back to Europe and understand the impact of the euro currency.
you are freezing when it is 15 degrees.
you dont know your neighbor and never say hello when you see him/her.
it is normal to see people step back when you want to ask them a question because they dont know you and they might think you want to rob them.
...

Chinois2001

I can't believe how right you guys are !!!!! Let me think about the ones I should add.